Last night, I was invited to share a Xmas Eve dinner with someone I've been dating and his family. Midway through the dinner, I thought and felt, "everyone here is so intelligent, creative and beautiful in their own light. They reminded me of my own family.

Leaving the restaurant, after we had said our good byes, my date began to let me know how disatisfied he was with my behaviour. The 15 minute ride home wasn't pretty; I maintained silent composure in the face much abuse. The last words I heard that evening was a final "(fill in the blank) you!" as my date pulled away from the curb, nearly hitting me in the process.


He called later apologizing, deeply and profoundly.
I stuck to my decision to bow out of the relationship.


A few years ago, I wouldn't have been so lucky. For I would have been living with the man, unable to so easily walk away and end things permanently. I like having that choice.


I don't know why it is we in our family are drawn into abusive relationships. But I know we are. We don't really talk about it. There are many things we don't talk about.


Here in Portland, I live in a house with others ... highly intelligent and educated. I pay my rent, maintain my space, work, and I work hard, focused, at cultivating and building a life of my own that I can say, feel, sense, know ... works very well for me and the people, places and things that are integral parts of my foundation and that I care very much about, that are important to me.


No one has the right to tell me how to be, what to say. I clock in every day at work, the only place I've agreed to show up and remain for a predetermined period of time, and am grateful for that. I value my freedom of movement.


But I'm talking too much.


Here's to life, living, being, learning, adjusting, creating.

Here's to joy, pleasure, respect and integrity.

No blame, no shame, no guilt neither.



We're all beautiful. And deserving. To be happy, healthy and prosperous.


and that's my song track.