just a few words today, for the sake of .... brevity.



relevancy.
meaning.
deep thought.
options.
being, living.

reality = consequences.



self formed life to enjoy and be enjoyed, consistently, constantly, amazingly.

focus.
clarity.




one thing at a time,

little girl artist
um excuse me i'm a woman
ah yes
woman artist
where are you heading?
where do you want to go?
what do you want to do?


i hear questions are a way of drawing someone out.
why should i open myself up to you?



um.


young woman artist
what are you seeking?

listen, i just need to be authentic ok?
pretending ... that don't cut it.

and there's this incredible social anxiety thing that's getting to be so very old.



i'm beginning to establish a different focus.
takes practice.


what do i want?


right now, i want
i want


i want
i want to form a life of my own that is relevant, meaningful and delightfully so consistently.



why does it take time for us to reveal ourselves?
where is the danger?
why do we fear?

why can't we just be
and live
and love .. nicely? with great pleasure? and joy?



am i revealing yet what i'm after?

quality subjective experiences standing on our own.
terra firma.




self ownership.
no more leasing myself out.


my space.
my face.
my race.
my ace.


no d's.
no f's.
no c's.
no b's.


aaaaas
as in, no matter what i do, it's all good.
the way life ought to be and could
if only



ays!
as in

ay yup
that is to say
yes!
affirmative!
and thank you.


i like the power of yes.





i have a real hard time expressing myself. can you tell?

lol. oh man.




i've been told i'm an excellent even sophisticated communicator.

i don't know.


it's why i flow.



personally, i like and prefer to think. but most of the time, it's as if ... well, i think you need to be or get relaxed to think.


relaxed? what's that?

lol.






yeah.

so i'm here in portland. where it's so infinately more mellow here than the elsewhere places i've lived. i'm still soaking it in.