everyone needs spaces where they can simply be.

at work, a colleague and i chatted.

work?
it's manageable.
and that's about it.

maybe it's a process.
from unmanageable
to manageable
to eventually ... prosperous, which includes health, contentment, happiness, and true beauty inside and out.

and god how i love that.


the gift i have, i feel i have at work, among others is that i can express freely what i'm feeling, where i'm coming from, and while not all of it may be warmly embraced by all, it's a okay. because at work, where i work, it's a okay to be human.

and i like that.



i'm working in retail sales now. and have been for a while. it's challenging. i do like the dynamic nature of retail. i've always liked movement. and where i work as it's ebbs and flows. i remind myself how much i have sought out "mellow flow" and at times it's quite mellow (= slow) on the floor.


retail.
service.


a few weeks ago i realized i needed, no wait make that i needed and wanted to take ownership of the fact i am where i am.


ownership.
it does a mind, body, spirit and soul good.


instead of checking my soul at the door, each time i stepped onto the retail floor,
i take it with me.


"that means you're genuine" one girl who used to work on the women's fashion/clothes floor ... she left to continue her fashion consulting business .... said to me.

yes, i replied. i am genuine.






today i felt so tired.
i mentioned it to another associate
kristy. she's nice. she's got a hint of punk to her. which i've always thought was a little on the hip and cool ... and certainly different... side.
you look tired, kristy said.


am i writing or tryin'?

i'm writing.


you should go get some sleep after work she said. and then she said, wait, make that relax. go do stuff relaxing for yourself.

yes! i said.


relax, though.
what's that?
:)


i'm always on go go go
who would have ever though
given my so oh so mellow demeanour.

thing is
i'm big on accomplishing things.

the art
yes, i threw myself into that
but nowadays lately i've been wonderin
maybe this artist needs a different medium

and until i discover it
no need to know the what for
that i already know

i owe it to myself to find a way to
shees louise
i can barely even say it


i feel as if
i'm ready for yet another transformation

i change all the time


"you're always changing and different and yet you're always the same person" michael once said to me.


i remember everyting.
everything.



owner of a lonely heart.

flowin'
mowin'
growin'

grown.
flown.
own.


you're coming into your own person, mac said at work.
mac's the sales lead on our floor. she's in her 60's. from indiana. has the kindest eyes. a gentle, really funny with a hint of raunchy soul.


yes! i said.
i'm coming into my own person.
i really liked the sound of that, although from time to time i wonder what that actually means.



writing
it's the typing
that i love

truth be told



the other day i realized i was barely present.

i'm barely here, i said to an associate from cosmetics.
why? did you stay out late last night? she said.
no, i just realized that i've been barely here since i got here.
ah, she replied. well the first step they say is recognizing it.


that's right.

since then, i've been intent on showing up
"coming into my own"
being present. as fully as i can.

why?
because that's my sales strategy.
to show up.

and while i'm doing it for the job
i figure i'll do it for my life as well.





we all deserve to shine like stars! i said to mary ann, aka mac.

and then i put it in terms closer to home.

we're like diamonds i said, in their raw form. covered with carbon, you don't see the beautiful shine. but when you chip away at the carbon, beneath the black you can see there's a diamond in there.

and then after discovering the diamond, the stone is passed on to experts who know how to cut and polish a diamond.

me myself personally,
while i'm all for sophistication
in fact, i love it
i so do very much appreciate things in their raw form.

i guess it's because i seek and long for understanding.









well, this typing fanatic's got to get going.
just writing cause it's been a while

and i so do love to type

hiddy hi
hiddy low
hiddy hiddy hiddy so mo


ff

do wish i'd edit from time to time though
:]