to make a mistake, it's normal and human. but to play notes without meaning, without passion and feeling ... it's unforgivable.
paraphrasing beethovan in the movie immortal beloved.






and i thought, repeating in my mind, to do anything without meaning, passion, feeling ... it's unforgivable.




my aim is to live out there in the practical world, living a practical life and move and groove the way i so very dig. any other way is unacceptable.










a woman today told me i reminded her of amelie. i thanked her and made a mental promise to see amelie once again.

i also told her a little bit about my life, and she suggested i get out of where i am as fast as i can. she said there are times when the only thing TO do is run away. we spoke about trying to handle "things". sometimes that might translate into quietly dealing, or some negotiating. other times perhaps a face-off. but if there's a dangerous predator that's a threat, run she said. no looking back.

i get that. i got that. i'm preparing myself. there's time.



what am i saying?

to live without passion, without personal meaning, without feeling
is unacceptable.

to live a life that's hurtful, towards yourself or anyone else
is unacceptable.


when i look at me i see me
when i look at you and see a stranger, i remind myself that we're all mirrors for each other, and i look again and see a new image, kinder and gentler and beautiful. and i'm grateful.

one year, i went with my sisters to visit my grandparents in haiti. my grandmother was haitian. my grandfather austrian. they had lived in haiti many years. at the time, they were living in a modest two story house in a quiet, hilly, rocky neighborhood on the outskirts of the capital.

i had purchased the rolling stone's album "some girls" earlier in the day while on city excursion with my cousins. i bought it for the art. what did i know about the stones? not a thing, except that it was a cool looking album and i was stoked.

i asked my grandmother if i could play my new record on the turntable in their living room. to my amazement she agreed. on it went and wow and man. it was my first introduction to any sort of music of that flavor and i was right there totally with them, totally into it. when the record was over, i turned, looked at my grandmother, and asked "may i play the album again, grandma ghis?" lol. not a chance.

:)

but that was ok.
she had greately impressed and scored big points with me that day.