both of us know how hard it is to love and let go.

so few know how hard it is to love.

lord i must have been blind

this mortal coil

on the jukebox

who do i write for

if not for you

that is for myself

i live for myself

i work, for myself

i feel because of my self

i am

my self.

you hold back each day, until it dies away

both of us know how hard it is to love and let it go

this mortal coil

we all have our own magic, i said to justin

what's yours? what's mine?

what's yours? i asked.

what's  yours? what's mine he repeated.

i don't know, i'd have to write about that.

and internally made the commitment to do just that.

there are a number of ways we communicate and i say let's communicate here, let's communicate verbally.  because what we're thinking and feeling. who we are and where we're coming from ... we'll express it and we express it irregardless of any suppressions and repressions going on.  so let's put it forth, let's talk about it.

i said.

and say here.

what's all this about?

to give all i know and always feeling

to put forth and live

one project

one excursion

at a time

it's my dime

my hands red

it's time for bed

but first 

a few clothes to fold and put away

a bed to be made

an alarm to be set

why do my hands remain red

aching 

i swear 

never to be a fake again

i swear 

i love and prefer to be wide awake, even when i'm asleep

what's going on?

i'm intelligent

you're intelligent

and i worry all the time

today i wrote in my journal

a single name

and then wrote

i'm worried

who am i

the woman who'll take a man's heart and stomp all over it

and mine in the process

without meaning

with and without feeling

it's a hell of a crime

i don't need to worry, i wrote

no one's forcin' me to worry

so i can let go

i may have to write that a hundred times in order for it to sink in, i said to justin

day in

and out

again and again and again

day in

day in

day in

i'm no longer scared

this is MY space

my time

my pace

and i believe in myself

and it's about time

one problem

one project

one at a time

ff

unedited

(context yo')

play, pleasure and a whole lotta showing up
for life
for work

an increasingly coherent lass

for a whole lot more than whatnot.



pm dawn's "set adrift on memory bliss" on the jukebox.