a few weeks ago we began a big semi annual sale at the store. i just barely made my goals during the last sale, so i announced to my fellow sales associates that i was going to be very focused on the sale this month.


i'm doing very well, leading the pact, and that's a fact.
our dept. is meeting and exceeding the set goals.
and i continue to wonder, do i stay or do i go now?
and how.



it's so important to me to excel.

i'm tired of failing.




i think that's a good thing.





a few years back, a guy asked me, "what are you, an over acheiver or something?"
he could only see success whereas i felt much distress.



i think today i'll continue to think about success and what that means to me.


building my day,
my week
my year
my life
one success after another
sounds pretty damn good to me.

lacking words

sure there's a lot i could
say talk about and so on

but
well
ah
hell

i love to write
try as i may and might
a part of me continues
to show up for a fight


and another part says
what the hell is going on


i live a life of torment!
i stated admitted realized owned up to
yesterday
and it felt good

do you take meds for that?
someone asked
shees

no, no i don't.
i'm dealing
ok?
i won't bring it up again
to you.


i mentioned it to another colleague
she said she could relate and had discussed that with a therapist a few years back who told her she suffered from being real hard on herself.

i said well, i'm also intent on living in a high spirits, joyous state of being.


the mind is very malleable, you know?
it's all about perspective


she laughed, and said she really liked that.


so long as we're laughing
laughter, kind laughter, is one of those good for your mind, body, spirit, soul and memory that i trust.



today's my day off. it's a gorgeous day out. and i have no idea what i'm doing, except that i'm here, and soon will be out there, continuing on through my day.




i'm open
i'm wanting

and i'm deserving




a life full of kindness, generousity, beauty, wellness, joy and prosperity.