yesterday i made a pact to enjoy my own company. no matter what's going down. where i'm at. what i've got to do. as a way of getting myself of out the woe is me blues. not to trivialize my long lived depression. everyone needs something to care about, and what i care most about is how i experience myself as i live my days and nights.

i really have to keep reminding myself.

wierd huh?





yeah.
:]


now that i've given notice, i'm freaking out. but there's a fish store that's always hiring and keenly interested in staff that actually would give a damn and show up on time. would they pay $12. an hour? i asked. min. wage leo, the manager replied. and it would be a slow climb up in term of raises.

damn i said. that's what i thought.

the fish tanks looked so clean, so nice. i like working with people who are experts, do a great job doing what they do and care. and i love animals.




moving on.

I cut my hair today ... actually John did the cutting. I set up the appt., showed up and explained what I wanted. He says I have very delicate features. I like not having lots of hair to hide behind. My art today comes down at the Tiga bar. Not one email nor sale. The art looked nice there. A few of the canvases even looked as if they belonged. Tomorrow is 8/08/08. I'm not mystical nor superticious. But I sure like and am delighted by the sound of 8/8/8, if only because it doesn't happen every day.

I live in Milwaukee ... no longer in Portland. I didn't realize I had moved out of Portland until a few months after the move. Does that make me an airhead?


I picked up a great sci fi book at the library. First fiction book I've read in a long time.

I wonder how long this whole "enjoy my own company consistently" project will take. God knows, I'm not interested in fakin' til I make it. I'm hear, whoops here, motivated and showing up for something I care about.

A human endeavour that has my heart written all over it.

'-)

Here's to enjoying our own company
together and when we're home or out on the town alone.



sugar and spice makes everything nice
yeah, :)

thanks michael,

f.

I kicked butt ... as a part of me expresses ... on the job. Showed up and gave it as much as ever have and did very well. Took another strong, simple step ... to bow out and find a new job.

It's so important to me to do well, to accomplish, to excel ... by my standards, by what's important to me. I seek safe harbours and enjoyable, really interesting work where I'll excel, grow, develop and well.

Health, wealth, happiness and true genuine spiritual beauty are all very important to me. And that includes enjoying my own company.

Simple steps
is what I like best.