at work for the past week, for the past several months, i've shared much about who i am, where i'm coming from, what's been troubling me.

 

one of my colleagues said, "you must have been going crazy all this time."

 

a few times, deeply meaningful times, i've found myself, head in my hands.   

it felt real.

 

our individual stories affect and impact ... very powerfully... the bigger picture ...  i'm no longer interested in suppressing my stories.

gaps in the story.

and the taste of tangerines from when i was a kid, in my mouth.

i'm no longer interested in being crazy, feeling crazy, acting crazy.

it's obvious something's been troubling  you, a client, a very nice client said last week.

i've been thinking about that.  about my troubles. my worries and concerns. and i've continued talking about it.  

seems like so many of us are troubled.  what are we going to do?

i don't know.

stop worrying

give it our full attention.

 

"i've been spinning wheels" i said to justin

i can do something about that.

"i'm a big worrier"

i can do something about my worries too.

i don't need to worry. i wrote in my journal a few days ago.

i don't need to worry. i don't want to worry. i'm not going to worry.

instead of worrying, paying attention and listening.

and continuing to take my life one day at a time. one day, one project, one conversation at a time.

what story am i writing? i wrote on the bus last night.

how about a story change?

i have a hard time with things.  doesn't have to be that way all the time.

 

"my head's spinning like a carosel..."

mjackson on the jukebox

unedited